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Yesterday I was reminded that I had to do a talk on friendships, and unusually nothing immediately came to my mind. However, last night I was looking through the red book that Mrs. Larkin gave all of us a number of weeks back now and realised how complex friendships actually are. I took note of some of the points involved in creating
friendships and maintaining them. There were six words written in bold. Loyalty, commitment, honesty, trust, generosity, and understanding. Thinking back on my four years at Burke Hall I really can't see any times where these words were connected with friends. I can really only see friends back then as people I would chill with at lunchtimes. Unless we were both interested in the same sport there was no real connection. That's probably one of the reasons why I'm not friends with those people anymore. Was there really a connection in the first place??? Don't put your hand up for these question, but, think to yourself…Have you ever told you friends about problems your having at home??? What about problems that your having with other friends??? Or problems your having with teachers??? When your younger you are still unsure about yourself and really don't have a lot of courage to do discuss personal issues. I've changed a lot as a person since my time at Burke Hall and at since then also straightened out my priorities. Last year, I would be playing basketball every Friday night and nearly every Saturday night. While I was having some fun playing so much, I didn't realise the real fun that I was missing out on. I quit both comps and since then friendships I already had grew, and I also made new ones at the same time. Although it gave me a lot more spare time. Quitting basketball was probably the best decision I've made in terms of friendships. It is a reminder that as peoples lives change, so to they change as well and become better blokes.
Back on the six words I highlighted earlier and to me I see the most important word being ‘understanding'. A friendship is built around two people understanding each other. If there is no understanding between you then there is no friendship. If your making an attempt to be friendly to a person and see what happens from there, then the other person just turns around to you and go ‘HA', then there is no understanding. Don't bother building friendships with people who u can't understand.
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Generosity - Being generous to someone doesn't mean you two will be life long friends. If someone at the tuck shop asked for bucks and you thought…oh I'll be generous to this guy cause he's the most popular guy in the year level and he might be my friend.' Then don't give him the money, cause normally the most popular guy in the year level isn't the best bloke. He's only the most popular because he pulls in chicks and everyone wants a piece of the action. He won't have any understanding, and probably no generosity because he thinks he ‘too cool' to give out his generosity.
Trust - Many friendships don't maintain without trust. Coming into friendships later in life, especially when you may go out on weekends and do things you shouldn't be doing, you expect your friends to be trustworthy and not tell your parents. I know that within my friendships there is plenty of trust as I would not expect any of them go around telling people what I have been doing, when I shouldn't have been doing that. If your so called ‘friend' is going to tell your parents that you were drunk on the weekend or tell the teacher that you've gone for a smoke at lunch time then there is no trust between the pair.
Commitment. Around Xavier there doesn't seem to be many people who would highly regard commitment as a key to building and maintaining friendships. Commitment is more what you see in an American soapie, between a guy and a gal about 0-5 years old who want commitment in their relationship.
Loyalty and Honest and two words that I see a connection between. The key to both words is being true. This is so important in older teenage friendships when you think you are allowed to be doing something because you are allowed to, whereas you have not been told the truth. Always tell the truth to friends…if your not going to tell the truth, then say nothing at all.
Furthermore in the booklet is said to give your opinion as to why some friendships break down…Immediately a friendship cannot exist between two people is those six key words, Loyalty, commitment, honesty, trust, generosity and understanding, don't exist. If you see someone as being a friend, however he doesn't tell you the truth, then why the hell is he your friend.
I can remember when I was at Burke Hall there was a massive emphasis on bullying. As you grow older you will find that bullying still occurs, however as people's bodies mature, it may not end in tears, however with someone on a hospital bed. At the Senior School you don't notice a lot of bullying, a lot of things said are all in good humour, however there is a limit in which a person can push another person to their boundaries, and violence for some can be the only escape. Now I'm not telling you to get into a fight with someone who bullies who, however realise that everyone has their weaknesses, don't put up with bullying. If someone calls you ugly have a go back at them with something twice as offensive. If you are being bullied, I recommend you get on the internet, look at a joke website and search for a few your mommas so fat classics…tell this to the bully next time they do it and then tell them to get hell out of hear…
- Catch
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