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Is the Male Mid-life Crisis for real?
The male mid-life crisis is for real. "Crisis" means that during transition people have a breakdown in some of their normal life patterns of thinking so that they do not function at their ordinary lifestyles. For many men it seems that from forty on is all down hill. They still have thirty to thirty-five good and productive years left; yet they are asking, "Where do I go from here?" Some men go to the arms of a younger woman; others quit their job and try a new life style. The ones who hang on to their commitments are still beaten by a hurricane of fears, self doubt and frustrations.
The glories of a young man are his health and physical strength. The honor of an old man is his wisdom and experience. But what about the middle aged man? Is the benefit for his age a balding head and a beer belly? Someone once said that youth looks forward, old age looks backward and middle age looks worried. Mid-life can be a traumatic time for many people. During this time of life, many are thrown into a tailspin called a mid-life crisis. The ages a male goes through mid-life are thirty-five to fifty years.
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One day, while talking to my dad, age forty, he stated, "Everyone's worried about the Economy this year. I'm worried about my beer belly and my hair loss, altogether I'm in depression." The day will come when you too look back at yourself and see a gut, or a receding hair line and think, "I'm not just getting older, I'm getting old." Welcome to mid-life. During his forties, if a man has been hard-working, the fruits of his labors-a home and family, material possessions will probably surround them. Then, before anything dramatic happens, small troublesome doubts may appear, perhaps followed by a series of dramatic irrational events leading up to great change. During this crisis, all men ask themselves, "Is this all there is?" or "Am I a failure?" The negative impact the aging process has on the male's body can also be a shock to his mind and emotions. Part of calming mid-life crisis is accepting in your mind what is taking place in your body. The crisis begins when you refuse to accept the fact you are aging.
Symptoms and Behaviors during a mid-life crisis can range from mild to severe. Symptoms may include boredom and exhaustion. When a male is on his own and gets a job, he is first very excited, but then things become very repetitive. He gets up, goes to work and comes back home. By the time he reaches the age of forty he will have done the same things repeatedly for two decades. Another symptom is self questioning or regrets. The male mid-lifer has had plenty of time to reflect upon the decisions he has made so far in his life. He ponders about the career choices and may feel his dissatisfaction is due to wrong decisions he has made in his life. He may think he chose the wrong career, moved to a wrong area, and even married the wrong woman. This can be very stressful on a man. All of this is probably not true but in his mind he is convinced it is.
Un-reached goals are also a very big issue. When you were a little boy you dreamed of being very rich by the age of 0. You are now 40 and have trouble paying your bills. You were going to be a star point guard for the NBA, but instead you are watching basketball every night on television. The goals one sets for himself were never accomplished. The motivation and dreams he once had for reaching those goals died as well. This failure could cause a middle-ager to panic and search for a better or new reason to live.
The good news is that mid-life does not last forever! There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Dealing with a mid-life crisis takes time and energy, but at the same time can help a man find greater satisfaction and pleasure in his life. The first thing he should do is not to panic because it will lead to bad decisions. Decisions made on an emotional roller coaster will probably be wrong ones. The second thing one should do is accept the fact that mid-life is part of God's plan. You can enjoy yourself as you mature. Accepting and sharing feelings helps the mid-life crisis for a male. Aging is inevitable, but decline is not. With acceptance, you can allow yourself to grieve over losses. By sharing your feelings you can relieve fears and frustrations. Mid-life crisis is not going to pass through quickly; you are not going to get over it in one day or even a month. It takes years.
Of course there are other lifestyle changes that are extremely positive and help you grow mentally and physically. For example, one might eat better, exercise, get more sleep, and cut out the "junky" obligations that used to think were so important. Many lifestyle changes at mid-life can be great fun as you re-focus your values and energies towards the things in life that when you were younger. Valuing rethinking is very important and life style changes are helpful, but one should avoid changes that will cause long-term problems.
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